This is my blog. Though I am lost, but my legacy remains. And I love Mona.

This is my blog. Though I am lost, but my legacy remains. And I love Mona.
My name is Adif and I am handsome.

23 February 2017


RM 350.00
Bought from levi's online usa
cod available for Kuala Lumpur (Taman Melawati & Wangsa Maju)

501® Jeans For Women 
Free Dark 
 25 x 32


06 February 2016


I know it's been awhile since I updated my blog. Not that I have nothing to share, I've been procrastinating on everything. But really, I'm just tired. Being bullied, physically and emotionally. By everyone. 

The tiredness been clutching on my feet and I have to drag them all the way until I've become too tired to move. I stand still and I'm still standing. 
I don't know how long I can stand this. 

That's depressing don't you think? And it is something no one should share with someone else. Let it build inside you,  the guilt and the anger and let's just see how far I can go with it. 

For the time being, let's just hope everything will be fine. Gonna go and grab something to eat. Laksa Sarawak maybe?


27 September 2015

Haze go away please....

I don't know about you but now I'm feeling trapped in my own mind.
And I feel like running away. But I can't because I'm trapped.
Really choking me but what else can I do?

Here's what... 
Take a deep breath and go with it! Yeah... a moment where you feel like '... apa nak jadi..jadilah....'

I guess its just the weather. The haze is really making my head spinning. Most probably because of my asthma. 

Esok keje, tidur lah. Good nite all. 

Remember, if you feel trapped.... take a deep breath and say... apa nak jadi, jadi lah..!!

on a great day

yesterday 26/9

22 September 2015

No shame here.

Salam Raya

Esok lusa nak raya. Nak masak apa ya? Takda mood betul nak buat apa-apa. Rasa nak tido dan tengok tv saja. Penat kerja and the last thing I wanna do is cook.

Sometimes I can feel the urge to drag my feet to the kitchen but hey guess what? My fingers are on the remote and my eyes on the tv and they win. My feet lose and I'm stuck for hours and hours in front of the tv and it felt good.

No shame there.

I like washing clothes better than cooking. I don't enjoy cooking particularly in a cramp kitchen. Syukur I have a kitchen, its just me being me. My kitchen is really cramp and I hate it. No point complaining about it to the big boss, he doesn't gives a shit. And he'll tell me there's homeless people and the Tuesday sermon starts and I thought Friday prayer sermons are still days away.

What a life eh.

Haze is gone. NOT that its entirely clearing up but its almost gone. Gone to my head and heart. Its just my body doing the work and I'm like on auto-pilot doing things routine.


Better go and harass some people. Lets make some people angry. Not fair if I am the only person in this world upset. Lets do it together.


16 September 2015

Cerita Siti

A story about Siti

Sekarang baru Siti faham apa perasaan lelaki yang menggalas tanggungjawap sebagai suami, bila masa mereka ini balik ke rumah selepas kerja dan tidak dilayan isteri yang merupakan suri rumah sepenuh masa. Siti tengah merasai perasaan itu sekarang.

Siti penat dan tak tahu sampai bila dapat bertahan. Tapi disebabkan Siti tahu tanggungjawap Siti bukan setakat untuk keluarga kecil Siti, tapi untuk mak bapak Siti yang sudah tua, Siti adalah seorang wanita yang gagah. Kau tak percaya? Nasib kau lah.

Kalau ikut rasa hati Siti, Siti nak ja jadi macam kawan Siti yang masih single. Tak payah nak susah-susah fikir pasal makan pakai orang lain kecuali Siti dan mak bapak Siti. Baik Siti earn money untuk Siti dan mak bapak Siti aje.

Sebab apa Siti merapik macam ni? Sebab kalau bukan atas dasar rasa tanggungjawap Siti terhadap keluarga Siti, Siti duduk je di rumah goyang kaki. Sebab apa Siti merapik? Siti isteri, tapi maaflah, bukan TANGGUNGJAWAP Siti nak carik nafkah as a sole provider dalam keluarga kecik Siti dikala suami yang sehat walafiat, pandai universiti grad oversea duduk dirumah tak buat apa. Bangun lambat setiap hari. Kalau Siti keluar carik nafkah untuk keluarga balik kena pulak buat kerja isteri, belum ada anak pun Siti rasa berat, kalau ada nanti Siti tak tahu lah apa akan jadi.

Nak kata menyesal kawin tak juga, sudah takdir nasib badan Siti harung saja sebab nya Siti memang gagah.

Pesanan Siti kepada suaminya, udah-udah lah tu bang, insaflah. Sila lah ambil tanggungjawap suami ni dari bahu Siti sikit. Kalau tak ambil tanggungjawap sepenuhnya, ambil lah setengah. Penat Siti. Kalau nak share tanggungjawap, Siti sanggup. Tapi kalau nak Siti laksanakan tanggungjawap sepenuhnya sebagai ketua keluarga, Siti tak mahu. Siti ni isteri, bukan suami.

Sekian lah luahan hati Siti.

Siapa Siti????????? aku pun tak tahu......

09 August 2015

All I want to do is.....

 All I want to do is just sleep by the sandy beaches of Lundu Sarawak

 Mesti ada ulam mangga & tepus. Berulam tepi beach nang best. Nothing beats this.

And nothing beats this view...

Ahhh... I want to go home... Feeling homesick...

I miss my mom, my dad, my bro and my great friends back home in Kuching.
How I wish I have wings and fly right now...


Hey Another Random Update

I know … it's been quite some time since I last update this blog. Not that I don't want to, I'm just pretty tired all the time.

Let me just point what have happened this past few months.

Somewhere in May
Pooding pass away peacefully. It was really heart wrenching to see him go. All those memories keep flashing back and forth in my head. But thank Allah, he is in a better place now. I hope he's happy in Heaven.

Somewhere in June.
My birthday month. My lovely husband spoils me on this month with surprises and lots more. Love him to pieces.
Puasa month and everything seems to be moving so slow. It is as if everyone moves in a slow motion pace and some just don't move at all. Work is slow, walking is slow but come buka puasa waahhh.... everything comes alive. Baru lah semangat nak solat teraweh. This is the month where I count the days because I know, come end of the month, yaahhoooo... Balik Kampung!!!

In July, Raya time and enjoying it so much. Thank you husband and his family for a nice first and second day hari raya. Got to know his family more because this time we went back to kampung in Seremban. Then on the third raya.... my kampung!!!!

So, that was that. Met some great people along the way. Every moment was something to remember.

And some moments, was something to think about. And this is one of them.
Met few friends who aren't married yet and they are about my age 35 years young. They don't have any boyfriends and seems to me that they are happy with their lives. Truly happy. To them, they don't need a man to keep them happy, they are content with what they have now. People always say they need a man to keep them safe and sound on the ground but they say they can take care of themselves better than any man. I couldn't agree more. They are doing just fine so people, leave them alone. People stereotype them as spinsters but they don't give a sheet about it.
Raya is one time when people snoop around more than any other days. Bore.

Anyway, will try to write more. And often. Will see you again. Bye.

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